photo: Desmond Boylan

Bhutan's King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck (C) offers gifts to people in the courtyard of Tashichhodzong Palace during celebrations marking his coronation ceremony in Thimphu November 6, 2008. More from Boston.com

To see a king mingling with his people peaceably, without a calvacade or a posse of black jacketed security men, without a riot breaking out. Every now and then the memory of one perfect day, maybe just one perfect moment, to carry us on through the rest of the years.

A cup of tea. Warm bath water. Air-conditioning during hot weather, heating in the cold.

Yes. I'll love to see you.

But not if you have to wait for enough frequent flier miles to get a flight over, while going to other places you are willing to pay "in God we trust" cash.

Please don't come see me if you can't be bothered to reply e-mail unless it's to meet up when you happen to be free and am in the same place, nevermind asking to see how I am while it's okay with you to call others long-distance.

Have a good life. I'm sure you can have one without having to make use of me and take advantage of my generosity and caring nature. You have plenty of time and money. Please make good use of them and make good of your life.

Just when it seems to be shaping up into something lasting, it goes away. Or rather he does. Not around, not near, not available - too bad if you need help, need someone to talk to, need some reassurance that he's reliable, trustworthy and cares for you.

It is ever going to hatch? Any idea if ideas are hatching? Any reality in what seemed to have had happened when he spent time here and said he will be back?

So.. if he does come back later.. is it worth it?

Months of waiting.. that's too long.

Don't count..

Not on him...

I wrote in March about attractive but reserved men, and the next country I visited had cute and friendly men. So.. handsome, reserved hunks.. or cute, slight-built friendly men?

Variety is the spice of life. ;)

Sadly, local men aren't particularly handsome, cute or friendly. *sigh*

Which is better? (Or worse? :)
Cute men who daren't talk to you, or cute guys you can't talk to?

When I was in Auckland, there were a lot of tall, good looking, 'glowing with health' hunks. They'd smile but were quiet. Now I'll be visiting a city in which I don't speak the language of, but is rumoured to have very cute guys. Report pending...

someone i don't keep in contact with but i whom i like and respect has changed his schedule to meet up with me in a city i don't speak the language of, and in which he has to change his flight plans as well as pay for lodging in a place he doesn't usually go to. i am so relieved to not have to blunder about a beautiful city, and to have the company of an interesting person.

too bad he has a gf. :)

Now watching: Shizuka Arakawa skating her gold medal free skate programme. So graceful, strong and beautiful.

this time i've wised up. any other friend, i make time for.
you haven't treated me like a friend, so.. take a number and wait in line.
you can't expect it to be like it was before.

besides, i've been looking down this journal..
there have been other people since you left me.
hasn't been too lonely, really. :)

and hey,
there's always golf. ;)

i lied. i think i did.

i said i thought it was wrong of me to want him to stay. i said i hoped he will have someone sweet and gentle to love him, but that i could not bear to see him with someone esle, so i had to go.

well.. that is true.
but.. i also didn't think i could stay with him because he never seemed to be there for me. he regularly cancelled and changed dates for our time together because something esle was more important. ".... was a priority." his actual words. and him switching his phone off. or not calling me because the battery was flat.

hmmm...

goodbye.


it probably took too long though. days, weeks, months. waiting. not knowing how he was, what he was doing, not where he was or where he would be. just waiting. was it a test? a 'would she wait for me?' test? well, i failed that then. forever is too long for my lifetime, i like someone who claim to care for me to actually be there for me at least sometime. if he could make time for others, he can make time for me whom he so cares for.

Never did imagine this would happen but my ever reliable Mac has been taken hostage by widgets. Am writing from the older machine. Oh well, almost a decade of Macs and this is the first time I might have to go to Apple. It had to happen just after the warranty expired too. what a coincidence, hah! Am going to try to get DiskWarrior first, just that the stores here don't seem to bother to stock Mac disk utilities, duh.

why am i still dreaming about him? if i bring to mind instead what he does that i don't like, it'll be sensible to acknowledge that i am not always comfortable with how he talks about his friends. if i were his friend, i wouldn't want him to talk about me that way. but then maybe that's because i have so little confidence in myself and can't take teasing.

anyway.. i don't get to see him. and probably won't again.

so..

why do i keep hoping i will? :)

January, 2005
"What do you believe is true even though you cannot prove
it?" This was the question posed to scientists, futurists
and other creative thinkers by John Brockman, a literary
agent and publisher of Edge, a Web site devoted to science.
The site asks a new question at the end of each year.
An excerpt below.


David Buss
Psychologist, University of Texas; author, "The Evolution
of Desire"

True love.

I've spent two decades of my professional life studying
human mating. In that time, I've documented phenomena
ranging from what men and women desire in a mate to the
most diabolical forms of sexual treachery. I've discovered
the astonishingly creative ways in which men and women
deceive and manipulate each other. I've studied mate
poachers, obsessed stalkers, sexual predators and spouse
murderers. But throughout this exploration of the dark
dimensions of human mating, I've remained unwavering in my
belief in true love.

While love is common, true love is rare, and I believe that
few people are fortunate enough to experience it. The roads
of regular love are well traveled and their markers are
well understood by many - the mesmerizing attraction, the
ideational obsession, the sexual afterglow, profound
self-sacrifice and the desire to combine DNA. But true love
takes its own course through uncharted territory. It knows
no fences, has no barriers or boundaries. It's difficult to
define, eludes modern measurement and seems scientifically
woolly. But I know true love exists. I just can't prove it.

A few days ago I started up The Sims again and created a new character - Plein Vanilla. He lives in the Vanilla House in Map 8. I plan to create characters with surnames using the names of the houses already on the map.

Plein has just woke up and is fixing himself breakfast, but first after filling up the dog's dish. He also waters ALL the plants without prompting. The Vanilla House has about 10 plots of flowers. He also watered the palm I'd added to the bathroom. Not only that, Plein clears the newspaper and clears the dishes. This exemplary behavior is absolutely unprecedented; I've played The Sims ever since it was released on the Mac and have created and played closed to a hundred sims.

Of cos, in real life this kind of behavior is probably even more rare. One element carries over though. How often have you heard, "What a nice guy he is. Why doesn't he have a girlfriend?" Well... :)

Good:

Can eat spinach quiche, salads, veggies and beans and not worry about viewer libido-deflating green/red/brown bits in teeth.

Can roll about with laughter at jokes on telly that may be damaging to fragile male self-esteem.

Able to spend whole night slathering face and body in cream that is not meant to be eaten.

No excitable guy spilling lickable cream on sofa or bed.

Can shave in wierd contorted shapes without being surprised by other person dashing into bathroom.

No sleep-disrupting snoring.

No guilt at eating half a chocolate cake at one sitting. Well.. only a little.

Don't have semi-comatose slob hogging living room watching sports on telly for hours.

Bathroom floor always nice and dry.

Clean toilet greets you each time.

I'm still surprised that some people think this picture is immoral. Saucy, yes, maybe. Turn people evil.. well.. that doesn't say a lot for their character other than 'weak'.

I just don't get it. Why are some people so afraid of feeling frisky? It brings a rosy blush to the complexion and a smile to the face. Though obviously not all approve of such benefits because they have been brought on by 'evil' sex thoughts.

I would think it's inappropriate for the office or conventional religious places of worship, but nice if spotted in a shop window on a dreary day. :)

The seeds I sprinkled into a pot of ex-Torenia are now two-inch high seedlings. :)

I thought I'd like a man who can take very spicy food. Then again, I guess it doesn't matter so long as he doesn't mind not being able to take it hot, and doesn't mind if I do. (Food. The other topic he has to be able to take it hot. And often.)

A sense of humour is *very* important. He should also be secure enough about himself to be able to take a little teasing. Not too much. I like people who can deflect joking that turns offensive with a smile and firm tone. (No wimps for me, please.)

He should like pictures like these and not think it deprave that I do. People with double standards, filled with deceit, repulse me.



(c) Dominique Issermann

I've decided to work on my garden and forget about looking for a companion. I don't have a garden either.. but if people can grow flowers out of coffee cans and earth, I shall prevail! (Or something..) I dream of living in a country cottage outside a village with a kindly vicar and friendly shopkeepers. It doesn't need to have a four-storey library with books covering current fiction, to every style and art book Thames and Hudson has published - I intend to have cable. Or at least ADSL. Um, back to my 'garden'. I have a few pots of hardy, leafy plants. No pretty cottage perennials or even annuals. The snails eat them all. (Even in gardening, life is not blooming ;_;)

-Going to look out for pretty leafy plants which snails might not feast on.

I'm sad. Not really lonely. Not really unhappy. Just wishing, a little..

I'd always thought finding another person to share my life with was about loving them and them loving me. It.. hasn't seem to have worked out that way. Perhaps my values are skewed. Something certainly is! This seem to be a good time to figure out what I hope a relationship might be like, and what I want in another person. (This might not seem a particularly promising beginning, but one has to start somewhere...)

the shallow stuff which i have come to realise is important
i will be everlastingly mortified to be known to have such values
but since this is anonymous..
-have to appeal to me physically.
-i like a nifty dresser (and i'm not refering to an article of furniture)

(to be con'td. this is hard going on the brain.)

one month later..

Is it too much to ask for him to be loyal? (Loyal is not 'faithful', though that is good too because I'm very faithful.)
Does it have to be a him?

I don't understand how it's considered amusing to be made fun off in public by your partner. It's not like we're doing a comedy routine. I expect him to stand up for me too, if someone esle tries to hurt or take advantage of me.